Nowadays, fewer people seem to be taking time out of their busy schedules to visit one another and engage in meaningful conversation. Instead, too many of us seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time on social media platforms focusing on the range of issues affecting our nation.

I’m shifting my focus to remembering better days, which could have easily been described as days of heaven on earth, although I didn’t realize it then. I’m grateful to God for His mercies, as I’ve traveled to many destinations to spend quality time with family. I especially enjoyed one trip to California, where I was able to catch up with my niece who had recently given birth to twin girls. During that week, my family and I were happy to spend the afternoons painting the town red and evenings enjoying barbecues and getting acquainted with our two newest family members.

Growing up, regular visits with extended family were sort of a tradition that started with my parents. We were sure to see many of our relatives who lived nearby at least once a week. During those visits, it was customary for my parents to have lively discussions with them over a cup of coffee and a bite to eat, while we kids played outdoors.

Most summers, our ranch style home nestled in the woods of southwestern Virginia was a pleasant retreat for our well-to-do relatives from Pennsylvania. During those visits, my mother’s first cousin and his wife, who were seasoned educators, managed to strike up conversations with my family about everything from looking our best to the importance of education in shaping our future as Black people. They planted a few proverbial seeds in my mind that my parents watered daily, and helped me imagine a world outside of my tightknit rural community. With every visit, they brought more delight to my sometimes ordinary life.

As a teenager, I was thrilled by the prospect of getting to know my cousins and experiencing the excitement that they always brought to our family — they were down-to-earth people who loved to laugh, interjecting humor into any atmosphere. I can remember being impressed by their northern accent, which was distinctly different from mine. I also noticed that they moved somewhat hurriedly and dressed like they were ready to walk the runways of Milan at a moment’s notice — something I admired because I came from a long line of fashionable women. On the other hand, we country folks were unapologetic about our southern drawl, sometimes unknowingly moved at a snail’s pace, and saved our Sunday best for Sunday. My ability to embrace those differences enriched my life.

 Our cousins’ children, who were teenagers and young adults at the time, were both fascinated and annoyed by being awakened by our rooster’s crow. Nonetheless, if they were anything like me, I’m sure they appreciated the splendor of the sunrises that crested above the trees in our backyard as the birds sang happy songs. Their curiosity was obvious as we explored the fields and vegetable gardens adjacent to our home during the day. In the late evenings, after enjoying my mother’s southern recipes, we settled down as the lightning bugs (better known as fireflies to my northern relatives) surrounded our home. The tranquil coo of a dove coupled with magnificent sunsets marked the days’ end, as we sat around the overgrown maple tree in our front yard just enjoying each other’s company and the occasional gentle breeze that blew our way.

In my opinion, visits to our home were my cousins’ way of saying to our family “We love you, and want to experience how you’re living your life.” Consequently, I trusted the wisdom they shared with me, and I started exploring colleges that I wanted to attend and thinking more about who I wanted to become. After graduating from college, I realized that I didn’t want to settle down in my hometown, so I ventured out in search of a place that offered the ideal mix of city and country life, and that turned out to be a life in suburbia. However, I always manage to find my way back home for special occasions and church events, and sometimes just to experience the unusual serenity that rural living had always afforded me.

I realize that the value I place on time with my family will be passed down by my children to my grandchildren eventually. As I make more time for my own family, I encourage those in my circle of influence to do the same.